he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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