i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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