I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Im part way to drunk.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
