Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You are a genius and a whore.
God, I missed his penis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
