i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
