I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
