we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You ruined the universe
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
