I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
