help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
