we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
