I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize