Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
