6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
