she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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