she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
