got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
