i would punch a child for taco bell
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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