Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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