Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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