No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
