i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
wanna go halves on a baby?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize