Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
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just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
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I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
NoShamevember. You game?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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