Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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