You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
