this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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