I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
operation harelip BJ is a go
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
