you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
