my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
