This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
