Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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