Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
