For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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