So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
