This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
