how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
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im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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