There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
