if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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