i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
