apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
