Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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