so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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