all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
