hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
