your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
