I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
