I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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