I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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