kristin has been a bad kristin
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
