They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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