i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
