Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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