On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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