dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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