i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
