you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
