Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize