New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
